An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
ignored repeated stern warnings
I hate it when I run through a crowd with my fist leading the way, shouting “Don’t get punched, don’t get punched, don’t get punched!” and then they think it’s my fault when somebody hits my fist with their face. Can’t they see I’m the victim here?
Big dumb baby wants his shiny.
They each get a spin on the Wheel of Bereavement. Prizes include a multi-pack of Cheetos, Lada (used), or a copy of The Sims 3 or an enlistment contract.
And, coming soon, Maxwell Leaky Cardboard Box in a Piss-Soaked Alley.
I have an idea but it requires several pairs of simultaneously-activated key switches and will probably end humanity.
“They’re not targeting me” (right now/overtly/yet).
But Larry Goone, 59, saw the immigration officers and protesters differently. He was riding an electric fat-tire bike to the lakeshore when he came across them.
“I saw these [officers] being completely heckled on the river and I just yelled out to them, ‘Hey, I appreciate what you’re doing,’ because most of Chicago does want this,” said Goone, a suburbanite who works in casino marketing. “These people just are doing their jobs.”
Goone praised the officers for going after “illegals for coming here illegally.”
What did Goone think of the protesters?
“This here is organized by George Soros and antifa, and I wouldn’t doubt that half are being paid to protest,” Goone speculated without any evidence. “I don’t understand what they’re doing.”
Casino marketing is the career you choose when you can’t decide which path to reject as the lesser evil. Checks out that he’s a warped, conspiracy-spouting shithead. I’d wager that there’s a lot he doesn’t understand.
“If countries see that central bank money can disappear if European politicians see fit, they might decide to withdraw their reserves from the eurozone,” he added.
What’s the problem there? You don’t get the privilege of working with bloodthirsty imperialist powers like Putin’s Russia?
If someone’s about to do some shady shit, transferring all their money out is one more piece of information that could be observed and fed to the analysts to gauge how serious they are about it. Seems useful.
If this is her way of foreshadowing a high-commitment shitpost, I’m here for it. Bonus points if it happens when she tries to set up a false flag to blame the anteefers but fails to heroically survive the encounter.
Once he drops the rest of our weather satellites into the atmosphere for a light show, those nerds won’t see anything to worry about anymore and can finally relax. Efficiencied!
Soup-for-brains probably wanted them to revoke his MasterCard, Discover, and American Express too.
Dream on.
Ladder truck and a shotgun ought to do it. Defense contract please!
Arrested, held without bail and charged? Someone forgot to befriend the president.
We don’t know that yet, he saw what happened to the last guy so might be waiting for an opportunity to discreetly make contact. Let’s see what the investigation turns up.
Sorry boss, best I can do is a warship party.
-Navy equivalent of brigadier general or above
Sure would be awful if somebody fired up a bunch of phone emulators with that app and spoofed the GPS readings to send the cops on a wild gays chase.
Just. Awful.
Root for the bomb. It has an easy job though, just has to hit somewhere nearby and they’ll flop to the ground until a ref hands out penalty cards.
Let’s not go Russian to any conclusions about the culprit.
We’re fucked and now it’s a matter of determining how much fuckeder we’re going to be.