Never call it a good day while the sun is still up.

Bruh, that would certainly be devastating, and it’s disgusting I can see that happening.

Even regional grocers will feel this too. Any snap loss, is loss where ebt is accepted. So many different markets…

I remember when I made $2400 post tax a month. My rent was $750 (literally unheard of cheap for a one bedroom in the middle of nowheresville). Easy, except childcare was $950/month for my one toddler. So rent and childcare alone ate 70% of my income. I don’t want to talk about my electric bill because I was drowning, but had no debt, cold showers, but no debt, I’d say to my self on those cold winter mornings.

I had to steal from peter to pay paul, a lot. Mind you this was back pre pandemic, you could get a beater car for $500-$1000, and I did. Each car I had lasted about a year or two with repairs I could afford before they died.

I was late on my rent two months in a row, and my slumlord (you ever wake up next to a puddle?) told me, sarcastically, “well, maybe you should find a cheaper place to live”. He knew damn well he owned the cheapest, shittiest apartment in the area. He was a cunt.

Living somewhere “undesirable” to save a buck is folly.

… exactly. That’s the whole reason why it’s important to actually address these kids’ needs on an individual basis, and not just slap them into a for profit prison pipeline.

It starts with parents giving a shit and it is sustained with support programs.

Ah yes, I know those moments well. On the mild end, my son used to trash his room, and specifically destroyed our favorite read together books or books I got him special, just to try and get to me. It took years of me explaining he’s only hurting himself when this happens. He’s broke many things he loves out of anger. He’s finally starting to get it. Even sometimes, when hes upset and in his room working it out, in a healthy way, he will bring out his favorite possession and hand it/them to me, 'im not feeling safe and I don’t want to ruin this item" so he gives it to me to keep it safe, until he’s feeling better. It took fucking years to get to that point.

Meds have helped a lot, with ongoing group/individual therapy. After episodes, I’ve heard him, cry/whimper in his room, “why am I like this!?” And man it breaks your heart.

I’m glad you haven’t given up, I’ve nearly given up 100 times but we keep pushing forward. Keep seeking that light at the end of the tunnel. I see what you mean now, yeah, in the moment you have to assure safety. It’s not an easy job.

Absolutely.

I’ve dealt with some of these schools. You have untrained staff literally yelling, “Do your work now!” To a room full of kids with ODD and others. Then sit back and wonder why it’s not working. Their solution when they become dysregulated is to lock them in solitary confinement until they, calm down.

It’s garbage. It doesn’t work. It is institutional failure, because, well, profits over everything in the United States.

They had my son in a similar program, outplacement, not residential however. It was called High Roads. They have had multiple cases opened against them, and I refuse to let them ever place him there again. The school they had him in was a converted office space in an industrial park. It didn’t even have a gym. They are also for profit, and treat the staff like garbage.

I asked in an interview, how do you help a child who is in crisis, and they showed me their concrete cell. That’s the plan. Just detain the child in basically solitary confinement. My son self harms in this kind of thing, while it will keep other students and staff safe (highly important) it does nothing to help the child’s actual issues.

They tried to place him there again last year, I’ve loved all my son’s teachers, but last year’s teacher was, not great. So when he had trouble, they wanted to put him there again. I said no, and faught them on it with our states advocate program. High Roads the cheapest out placement for the school. When I brought to them other, more expensive, better outplacement options, they fucking folded when I said our compromise could be to keep him in his current in district program. His teacher this year is fantastic, and is so far doing well. Advocate for you kids man. And fuck High Roads and these for profit child prisions.

It’s like locking a misbehaving dog in a cage, and then they wonder why they bite. Its foolishness.

I’m deeply saddened that this event with the teacher losing her life. This is the worst I’ve ever heard. That’s absolutely should not have happened. Many of these schools are not meant to actually help children. They sacrifice the wellbeing of staff and the kids for profit. The system is fucked. And I guarantee you, this tragedy won’t be enough to change anything meaningful.

Yeah dude. It’s sad, but sometimes a kid is just dangerous to other people. There’s no amount of reason or gentleness that can help.

My son is special needs, has/had violent episodes. While this statement might be true, I just can’t agree. I may have given up my career to sit in therapist offices, but I believe every troubled kid deserves a shot. With enough love (and meds and coping skills) one can overcome the sheer angst that lives inside them.

I have absolutely had to ‘hold’ my own child at the school in years past. Shits not for the weak, but I’ve watched him overcome this, and is becoming more successful each year. With enough support, these kids can be successful. The truth is, the parents also need support, and they often don’t have it themselves, so it compounds into deeming the child a lost cause.

I hate when what should happen, doesn’t become what is. But no child is irredeemable. That’s how I feel.

I was going to mention this. My son was taught “sight words” and it’s the dumbest fucking bullshit I’ve ever seen.

On top of that, many parents of today, do not put an importance on reading at home.

Only one teacher he’s had has done spelling tests, in all these years… one teacher.

I practice both reading and writing with my son as often as he can tolerate at home. It’s really sad seeing these kids cannot spell or write, or yes even read.

They fucked a whole generation of kids, in more than a few ways, but one of which was definitely the years they switched off phonics and taught bogus sight words.

Which Side Are You on?- The Almanac Singers (1955)

This is such good advice. I am stubborn about not playing the game with it though. Appreciate your thoughts here though.

I for sure understand this.

I too went to university in 2007 and didn’t finish for financial reasons! I had a meager $1500 loan, I couldn’t afford to pay off. Ended up paying through the IRS taking my tax refunds about 5 years. Paid $7000 for a $1500 loan. Fun times.

My credit, is however, still in the shitter. I’ve never owned a credit card. I refuse it.

No I am the same as you when it comes to drinking.

I guess I don’t know how to explain it.

Maybe, something simple, like over eating sweets at a party because I was buzzing. I only realized it after I stopped drinking, how much it really was the alcohol making the decisions for me, even if that decision is to make a joke or share a story, I’d otherwise not speak without alcohol.

I hear you and I’m not advocating all people shouldn’t drink anytime. Just personally, I didn’t realize how much alcohol influenced my decision making until after I gave it up voluntarily, about a year or so into sobriety.

Reaction times are slower for example, so to drink is really deciding to give up control of yourself for a time. Probably why it makes socializing easier.

My husband could have said this five years ago, weeks before he quit.

He’s not an asshole, but boy did alcohol make every mental health matter he had worse. In turn, creating an asshole.

I had to quit alcohol because of my husband’s issue with it. It was no problem for me to let it go, though I did miss it for a time.

Same thing, I’m happy as hell when I’ve had a few glasses of wine, it’s fun to socialize. But what really drove home to me the benefit of quitting, was even though I was happy and funny to be around, there were still moments where alcohol put me outside my own decision making.

I didn’t like that.

The only man irl I’ve met who didn’t wash his ass because he thought it was gay … I found out was raped as a child.

The joke isn’t funny anymore. The number of men I’ve met who were raped as children by other men, is a lot higher than I think people realize. It’s traumatizing and there isn’t support.

I don’t even know what I’m defending, or what you’re talking about. Have a cheesy day!

So you’re crying you can’t get Euro cheese in the states? And that’s it? What’s the point in arguing about that.

Maybe have someone ship you some. We’re just offering you options. If none of it is good enough, get it from Europe then?